Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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