I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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