You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
