Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
