Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got inside last night via doggy door
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
