I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
