Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Houston, we have a blender
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
