I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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