Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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