Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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