Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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