Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just high enough for therapy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
