Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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