I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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