You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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