She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
