Screwed.edu
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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