Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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