just come out here and I will go home with you...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
