You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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