you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
