well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
