I met the friendliest cop last night
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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