Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
