but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She even gives head with a lisp.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
