i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
