guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
