fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
two words...techno handjob
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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