So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
