I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
