just survived the first fart of the relationship.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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