I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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