Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
