O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
