what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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