The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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