his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
wow bdsm is so cute
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
