Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
