i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
