third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
