You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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