i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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