Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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