I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
