I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
