she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
