Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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