OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
