there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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