FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
